OK, a great many of you have been asking us why, if Matthew's visa is at the embassy in Seoul, are we still waiting? What is this latest holdup all about?
And you know what? It was the one time I couldn't answer your question.
Which got me wondering myself: What are we waiting for, anyway? He is cleared for travel by the U.S. His visa is in Seoul. From our perspective, he can hop on a plane today (escorted, of course). So, what's the deal?
I asked our caseworker for an explanation that I can give to people. Here it is...excerpted from her email to me:
"That's a hard question to answer. We know that the passport process in Korea is considerably more complicated than it is here, so takes longer. He needs to have his visa physical [ah! hadn't thought of that], get an exit permit [that one never entered my mind, either], etc. So, yes, we're ready on our end but not on his end! And then Holt [our int'l adoption agency based in Seoul] needs to get and "train" the escort [Ohhh! I had thought this would have been already done and they just pluck the next person off their list; guess I thought wrong], make flight arrangements, etc. This end-wait requires a lot of patience. Just know that Catholic Charities [our domestic agency, which works closely with Holt] has been doing this for 30 years and it works!!!"
So, the lesson here is yet another yoga practice that can be taken off the mat and applied to real life: Let go, and let it happen. Let it unfold at its own pace. Accept that this is the way things were meant to go. You cannot and will not control the process; so don't try to. Think positive thoughts and all will be well. It truly is a journey...and I am learning an incredible amount along the way. In that way, I could never look back with regret on this long wait we've had, or wish I could go back and undo it and make Matthew come to us quicker than he did. I've learned way too much, along our particular path to parenthood, for such thoughts.
We are going to a Halloween party tonight. I won't tell you our costumes just yet because some of the partygoers are readers of this blog! Let the festivities begin. And next year, we'll be able to include Matthew in on all of this Halloween fun!