Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Being a Mom, and Fixing Little Holes in the Heart

"The greatest heartbreak of my life has been my inability to conceive children.
The greatest joy of my life? Being a mom."

Enough said.

Thanks, Anonymous, for reminding me that being unable to conceive does not preclude one from the joy of motherhood.

It can't. It won't. I won't let it. It has tried and tried and tried to get me, but it won't. Amen to adoption and all of the wonderful ways that it has helped make me whole.

I say this during a week that is proving to be particularly hard for me. Grueling, actually. I'm not sure he'll be home for Thanksgiving, despite my best efforts to remain positive and prayerful and hopeful. And I worry, now, about what it will be like, for us and for him and his escort, if the traveling will be done on Thanksgiving, of all weekends (you know: one of the most heavily traveled weekends of the year)! And I just want to cry but will choose to smile and look forward to him, instead.

Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive.

On Saturday (which is National Adoption Day!), we are going to a gala put on by Catholic Charities, in which the keynote speaker is Deb Dawson, the mother of Korean adoptee Toby Dawson, who won the bronze medal in the 2006 Men’s Downhill Moguls. The Dawson family’s story was profiled in a Sports Illustrated article a few years ago. Here's a link to the article.

Here's to the mending of those "little holes in the heart" that the author's little girl talks about in the article (confused? read the article). It gives a good perspective from the adoptee's point of view. As conflicting as it may be for us, the adopted parents, the birthparents are an important part of our children's stories. Without them...well, you know what I'm going to say. Parenthood maybe wouldn't have happened for us. And if him reconnecting with his birthparents, at some point in life, heals those little holes in his heart (one of the few things that we parents can't fix!), then I say, bring it on. Help him to fill the few gaps that I wasn't able to fill.

Sorry, this post is kind of all over the place! But then again, so am I...

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