Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Things I've Been Reading

The latest issue of one of my adoption magazines had a great article about "Surviving (and Thriving) Through the Wait." Here are some nuggets that I took away from this article:

Where have you people been all my life? There is something special about the adoption community. It takes someone with a big heart, I think, and at least some sense of adventure, to adopt. I am so grateful to have met so many incredible people on this journey. I mean it.

And so do I. We have made lasting friendships already, even before Matthew has gotten here. I just know that these people who have helped us through this long wait (either because they are in this with us, or they had already been there and had sage advice about how to survive the long waiting period!) will continue to be there for us, and us for them, years from now. Just when I thought I had packed my life so full of friends, I couldn't fit anymore, here came these wonderful people to shine their light on our life. I am so thankful.

Here's another thing that resonated with me:

The uneasiness may disappear when we get our referral, but maybe it is always important to feel uneasy. Being a prospective adoptive parent is complicated. Obviously, the people REALLY going through something are the birth families and the children. Their losses are much more difficult and devastating. If I am lucky enough to become a parent, I must continue to question. I will do my help those who come after me, and to help those who are left behind.

The feelings of joy and anticipation are substantially less complicated. In January 2008, our social worker let us know we were Waiting Family #103. Today, we are #3. We want this more than anything. I can't wait to see my husband be a father. I can't wait for my parents to meet their grandchildren. I can't wait to sing someone to sleep, to make someone laugh, and to bandage a skinned knee. We are ready for our joyful, uneasy, happy ending.

And I am officially crying my eyes out. This is exactly how I feel! I love this magazine!

(Source: Adoptive Families magazine, "The Stages of Waiting" by Julie Corby, October 2009, pp. 21-22)

No comments: