Thursday, March 20, 2008

"Choice" Versus "Last Resort"

Happy Thursday! Can't believe Easter is just a few days away. Where does the time go?

I was thinking today about what seems to be a common misperception about adoption, and one that makes me feel pretty sad and confused. So I thought I'd share it. Jeff and I view our decision to adopt as a conscious choice. We could have tried fertility again. We could have chosen to remain childless. We could have said, "What the heck. Let's just live our lives and see what happens; maybe we'll get pregnant on our own." I know some friends who are doing just that, and I admire them for making that decision.

For us, we very consciously, carefully chose adoption as our particular "path." What makes me sad is the misperception that it's a "last resort," our "final option," our "last straw." I don't feel that any child deserves that designation. Reminds me of those days at Dunmore Elementary Center, when I was always the last one picked for the Dodge Ball team (back when Dodge Ball was simply a cool game and not a violent, physically traumatic practice). That felt pretty lousy. I hope our child won't be viewed as our "last resort." I'm sure he/she won't, but I do still worry about that. See, I'm not yet a mom but already filled with worry/concern for my child. Guess I'll fit right in, huh?

Anyway, onto my point: Our decision to adopt was a joyful, amazingly informed, carefully-thought-about, delicious choice that we are proud to have made and are excited to be embarking upon. I cannot even express how excited I am that we are on this journey together, and that we are traveling it with all of you. You ARE the definition of "boundless support" to us. And we bounce that right back to you!

Hugs to you all on this very windy Thursday! (What's the weather like in your neck o' the woods? If you care to post a comment, do share!)


1 comment:

am said...

Kath and Jeff- This blog is such a perfect way for you, Kath, to keep you sane during your adoption process. You always feel better when you journal and write it all down! Wanted to let you and Jeff know how excited I am for you. You have my total complete unvarnished support during your entire adoption journey. I am an ear, a shoulder, arms for a hug. Whatever you need, I am here. I think, for you, adoption was such a "right" decision. I couldn't bear for you to have another heartache like you had in 2006 and with adoption, there is no 'if'..just 'when'. I love you both and can't wait to finally hold, hug and kiss my future neice/nephew. Love - Am