I forgot to say that he's coming home to us, probably, this fall: October or November! They estimate 3-4 months, probably closer to 4.
I also forgot to see that from Friday, July 17, to Thursday, July 23, we didn't have a photo! We were absolutely dying, and six days couldn't pass soon enough! Thank goodness we were at the beach on vacation, so we were pleasantly distracted for those six days (kayaking, biking, beaching, hopping waves, making sandcastles, reading books, etc.). We drove from Bethany to Baltimore and back on Thursday, to meet with Margie and to pick up Matthew's file and of course, see his ADORABLE photo! It was a great day. The only day it rained our entire beach week (perfect!). We found a great organic soup restaurant--mmmmm....fresh, homemade soups and vegetarian sandwiches, operated out of a converted Baltimore row house near our adoption agency. It was absolutely charming. Cold rooibos tea and a wonderful mozzarella caprese sandwich on the freshest bread EVER! Jeff had a white bean soup that was too garlicky for his taste, but it sure looked good to me. And we found a great organic market right next door (we had some time to kill before meeting with Margie). ANYWAY, I digress!
I dropped Matthew's photos and medical paperwork off at our new pediatrician's office on Monday afternoon: a Dr. Elaine Lee in Olney. She and her partner, Dr. David Miller, came highly recommended to us. I hope we like them! The front office staff was great, which sometimes is the most important thing, as they are the only "gateway" to the doc! They were so friendly, and they were passing around Matthew's photos, oohing and aahing and saying how cute he was. They have been very accommodating, as Dr. Lee will be away on vacation starting next week but we really need her to do this review by week's end, so we're meeting with her tomorrow morning at 9:00. They managed to squeeze us in. I don't expect her to have any concerns, but our caseworker said it's a good idea to just meet with her regardless, to get a sense of her and to interact with her, b/c establishing a good relationship with your pediatrician early on is so important.
We've also started the process of getting re-fingerprinted with Customs and Immigration Service (CIS). We had to send an email to some DHS office, and supposedly they will snail-mail us an authorization letter that will allow us to appear at the CIS office (it's in Wheaton, MD, near Glenmont metro, for those of you in the DC/BALT area). You get a one-time free re-fingerprinting, so thank goodness no exorbitant fee this time! (The first time was quite exorbitant just so they could roll your finger pads on a computer screen!) Of course, we still have to endure the long line, but that's OK. We can live with that.
And of course there is yet another mound of paperwork that I'm not even complaining about, as completing it brings us ever closer to Matthew. How's that for motivation? LOL!
I am taking 3 months' maternity leave, and Jeff is taking 1 month. Then, when I go back to work, Jeff will be on paid sabbatical for the spring 2010 semester! He does have to do work, but he doesn't have to teach, which is huge, and he's not expected to be physically there. So, Matthew will be doing part-time Daddy Day Care, part-time regular day care from Jan to June 2010. Then from July on, he'll be in full-time daycare (or nanny care; not sure yet). I'm following some nanny leads but I'm not sure we can afford a nanny, and I may be way too early to pursue nanny leads at this point. Even the day care centers are telling me to call them closer to the date. I'm telling them July 2010 and they're looking at me like I have six heads. I guess there is such a thing as being OVERprepared!
They say that we can send Matthew small gifts, starting now! So I'm going to find him a little stuffed lovey or something, and a blanket, and I'm also going to make him up a little scrapbook with everyone's photos, so his foster mom can show him our pictures and familiarize him with his new and forever family! Then when he comes to us in the fall, they supposedly send those things back with him! We can also write letters to his original foster family in Busan as well as his birthparents, so I'll be doing that as well in the coming weeks. I am so thankful for his birthmother! Her presence in the world enabled us to have our son! She is constantly in my thoughts these days. I have so much respect for her and the incredibly selfless thing that she and the birthfather did in making an adoption plan for Matthew. I think birth parents get a bad rap, overall. It's an incredibly responsible, mature decision to come to, and probably one that they did not come to lightly.
That's all for now. I have to get back to work. These are the most details I've provided thus far, as this venue just feels more "right" for all the intricate details (versus mucking up my email messages with too much info). So some of what I've been saying is repetitive, and you may already know it, but this is by far the most detailed account of our life since July 17, 2009! What a ride it's been!
I am so, so happy!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Matthew Seong-jin Halverson
Hello, everyone! We have the greatest news: On Friday, July 17, 2009, at 5:45 p.m., we were matched with a baby boy from Korea! It was the day before we were leaving for Bethany Beach for a week, so we were able to tell my entire family in person (which wouldn't have been likely, b/c we are usually four hours away from any of them)! We called Jeff's parents immediately that evening, popped a bottle of champagne, and then (somehow) managed to resume our packing! Here's how it happened:
I got home from work at 5:30ish that Friday. My cell phone started ringing, and I saw it was from Margie, our caseworker. I picked it up, and she said, "Kathleen, are you and Jeff both there at home?" Of course, I knew immediately why she was calling! I said "Yes." She went on to explain that she had just called our home number but no one answered, which was weird b/c we were both there! Anyway, she said, "Hang tight. I'm going to call you back on the land line. Both of you pick up, OK?" So I hung up and my heart was frantically beating, and I could barely contain my excitement.
The home phone rang, and we both picked up a receiver. Margie gave us the best news we've probably heard in three years: They had a referral for us...a little boy named Seong-jin, which means "bright and true." He was born 3/2/09 and weighed 7 pounds, 11ounces. He is perfectly healthy, with round chubby cheeks and spikey black hair and gorgeous dark eyes! We got two photos (both of them taken when he was 12 days old): One head shot of him sleeping peacefully, a truly angelic look on his face. This photo speaks of peace, and it's my favorite of the two (even though his eyes are closed). The second photo is a full body shot, with him dressed in (literally) about 10 layers of clothing, so he looks like a bouncy little bowling ball. Margie said he has that "look" that says "10 layers" to her. Apparently, Korean parents like to keep their kids really, really, REALLY bundled up, convinced that they are always cold. Or at least, that's my guess. I can't post the photos here, as we signed an agreement saying we wouldn't post the photos to public or quasi-public sites such as Facebook, blogs, MySpace, YouTube, etc. If you'd like to see him, I can e-mail you his photo, no problem (that was cleared by our caseworker), so just let me know offline via e-mail and I'd be happy to show off our son!
We will rename him Matthew Seong-jin Halverson. Originally we were going to use the middle name of Christopher (in honor of the son we lost to stillbirth in 2006), but we do think it's important to preserve some of his Korean heritage by using his Korean name as his middle name. I think Christopher would understand, and he knows that he is remembered always in our hearts! The guilt factor kicked in for a few days, but in talking it out with Jeff, I saw that this decision was the right one to make. It doesn't mean we love Christopher any less, or Matthew any more. And his name would have been too long had we included Christopher after Seong-jin, which we were originally going to do.
Matthew Seong-jin is from the city of Busan, in southeastern Korea; Busan is a very urban, bustling port city of 3.66 million people. It's a very tropical area of Korea; Jeff said the climate probably has a Florida kind of feel. It reminds me of Hawaii or coastal Maine (two of my favorite places!), in that the base of the mountains jut right up against the shoreline--which is one of my absolute favorite geographical features ever! Best of both worlds! So you can go hiking high in the mountains and then chill out on the beach or hang out at the pier, all in the same day! And they say that people from Busan speak in a different type of Korean dialect that the Koreans from Seoul (which is northwest of Busan) have trouble understanding the folks from Busan sometimes. Busan is supposedly a more industrial, blue-collar city (maybe comparable to Baltimore or Pittsburgh, I'd guess?), whereas Seoul is more white-collar corporate (think Washingon, DC, or NYC). At least, this is my supposition based on the reading I've been doing. ANYWAY...
I'm not sure if people know where our choice of the name Matthew came from. It's kind of a cool story, admittedly a little "out there" for folks who are firmly grounded on Planet Earth (which often I am not!).
I could earn brownie points with my mom and tell you that it is in honor of St. Matthew from the Bible, but I'd be lying. Truth is, I wrote a poem (most of you know I'm a closet poet/journal writer and have been keeping a journal of random writings and tons of poems since I was about 12), years and years ago, before Jeff and I were even sure we wanted kids at all. It was called "I AM AT THE WINDOW." Look Letters 3 through 9; they spell "MATTHEW." Pretty cool, huh?!? And the poem was essentially about the fact that I felt his presence, our child, waiting at the window of our lives, and I knew he'd be coming to us someday. It was the beginning of my yearning to be a mom, and I haven't stopped since.
So now, all of a sudden, my friends are asking for invite lists for showers, and my family is planning a Welcome Home Matthew party for sometime in the Dec/Jan/Feb timeframe (depending on a lot of things--his/our adjustment, readiness for travel to PA, his personality, etc.). And all of a sudden, happiness just fills my heart with the most intense, shining light that I think my soul has ever felt. There is a sense of optimism, of true, unfettered hope, and a sense of gratefulness for the blessing that has come to our life in the form of our son.
I'll blog separately about the various "next steps" in terms of paperwork. This posting is getting entirely too long.
If I find the poem, I'll consider posting it, although I'm usually very private about sharing my poetry with others.
Thanks for listening, thanks for checking back on this blog time and time again, and thanks for giving me the feeling that people really are reading my blog postings and really do care about our whole adoption journey. This is Posting #75, a nice memorable number whose significance I'll determine somehow (I'm pretty superstitious about numbers).
I keep listening to Sarah MacLachlan's song "Ordinary Miracle" and thinking how right that feels.
"It's not that unusual, when everything is beautiful, it's just another ordinary miracle...today.
The sky knows when it's time to snow, don't need to teach a seed to grow, it's just another ordinary miracle today.
Life is like a gift they say, wrapped up for you everyday. Open up and find a way to give some of your own.
Isn't it remarkable? Like every time a raindrop falls? It's just another ordinary miracle today.
Birds are meant to have their fling, they always make it all while spring, it's just another ordinary miracle today.
When you wake up every day, please don't throw yoru dreams away.
Hold them close to your heart. Because we are all a part
of the ordinary miracle...
Do you want to see a miracle?
It seems so exeptional that things just work out after all; it's just another ordinary miracle today.
The sun comes up and shines so bright, and disappears again at night.
It's just another ordinary miracle today."
I am so humbled by our son Matthew and the incredible blessing and gift that his remarkable, selfless birthparents gave to us in giving him life. May he always be protected and guided throughout his life, and may we be protected and guided as we navigate this incredible journey called parenthood.
I feel so blessed, my friends. So very, very, very blessed. Putting the magnitude of this feeling into words is simply impossible for me to do.
People keep telling Jeff and I how lucky Matthew is and how selfless we are. On the contrary, we feel like WE are the lucky ones. WE are the blessed ones. Matthew Seong-jin is a gift and a miracle, plain and simple. And we already love him beyond any description that warrants words. May God and the universe protect him and guide him to us safely in the coming months.
I got home from work at 5:30ish that Friday. My cell phone started ringing, and I saw it was from Margie, our caseworker. I picked it up, and she said, "Kathleen, are you and Jeff both there at home?" Of course, I knew immediately why she was calling! I said "Yes." She went on to explain that she had just called our home number but no one answered, which was weird b/c we were both there! Anyway, she said, "Hang tight. I'm going to call you back on the land line. Both of you pick up, OK?" So I hung up and my heart was frantically beating, and I could barely contain my excitement.
The home phone rang, and we both picked up a receiver. Margie gave us the best news we've probably heard in three years: They had a referral for us...a little boy named Seong-jin, which means "bright and true." He was born 3/2/09 and weighed 7 pounds, 11ounces. He is perfectly healthy, with round chubby cheeks and spikey black hair and gorgeous dark eyes! We got two photos (both of them taken when he was 12 days old): One head shot of him sleeping peacefully, a truly angelic look on his face. This photo speaks of peace, and it's my favorite of the two (even though his eyes are closed). The second photo is a full body shot, with him dressed in (literally) about 10 layers of clothing, so he looks like a bouncy little bowling ball. Margie said he has that "look" that says "10 layers" to her. Apparently, Korean parents like to keep their kids really, really, REALLY bundled up, convinced that they are always cold. Or at least, that's my guess. I can't post the photos here, as we signed an agreement saying we wouldn't post the photos to public or quasi-public sites such as Facebook, blogs, MySpace, YouTube, etc. If you'd like to see him, I can e-mail you his photo, no problem (that was cleared by our caseworker), so just let me know offline via e-mail and I'd be happy to show off our son!
We will rename him Matthew Seong-jin Halverson. Originally we were going to use the middle name of Christopher (in honor of the son we lost to stillbirth in 2006), but we do think it's important to preserve some of his Korean heritage by using his Korean name as his middle name. I think Christopher would understand, and he knows that he is remembered always in our hearts! The guilt factor kicked in for a few days, but in talking it out with Jeff, I saw that this decision was the right one to make. It doesn't mean we love Christopher any less, or Matthew any more. And his name would have been too long had we included Christopher after Seong-jin, which we were originally going to do.
Matthew Seong-jin is from the city of Busan, in southeastern Korea; Busan is a very urban, bustling port city of 3.66 million people. It's a very tropical area of Korea; Jeff said the climate probably has a Florida kind of feel. It reminds me of Hawaii or coastal Maine (two of my favorite places!), in that the base of the mountains jut right up against the shoreline--which is one of my absolute favorite geographical features ever! Best of both worlds! So you can go hiking high in the mountains and then chill out on the beach or hang out at the pier, all in the same day! And they say that people from Busan speak in a different type of Korean dialect that the Koreans from Seoul (which is northwest of Busan) have trouble understanding the folks from Busan sometimes. Busan is supposedly a more industrial, blue-collar city (maybe comparable to Baltimore or Pittsburgh, I'd guess?), whereas Seoul is more white-collar corporate (think Washingon, DC, or NYC). At least, this is my supposition based on the reading I've been doing. ANYWAY...
I'm not sure if people know where our choice of the name Matthew came from. It's kind of a cool story, admittedly a little "out there" for folks who are firmly grounded on Planet Earth (which often I am not!).
I could earn brownie points with my mom and tell you that it is in honor of St. Matthew from the Bible, but I'd be lying. Truth is, I wrote a poem (most of you know I'm a closet poet/journal writer and have been keeping a journal of random writings and tons of poems since I was about 12), years and years ago, before Jeff and I were even sure we wanted kids at all. It was called "I AM AT THE WINDOW." Look Letters 3 through 9; they spell "MATTHEW." Pretty cool, huh?!? And the poem was essentially about the fact that I felt his presence, our child, waiting at the window of our lives, and I knew he'd be coming to us someday. It was the beginning of my yearning to be a mom, and I haven't stopped since.
So now, all of a sudden, my friends are asking for invite lists for showers, and my family is planning a Welcome Home Matthew party for sometime in the Dec/Jan/Feb timeframe (depending on a lot of things--his/our adjustment, readiness for travel to PA, his personality, etc.). And all of a sudden, happiness just fills my heart with the most intense, shining light that I think my soul has ever felt. There is a sense of optimism, of true, unfettered hope, and a sense of gratefulness for the blessing that has come to our life in the form of our son.
I'll blog separately about the various "next steps" in terms of paperwork. This posting is getting entirely too long.
If I find the poem, I'll consider posting it, although I'm usually very private about sharing my poetry with others.
Thanks for listening, thanks for checking back on this blog time and time again, and thanks for giving me the feeling that people really are reading my blog postings and really do care about our whole adoption journey. This is Posting #75, a nice memorable number whose significance I'll determine somehow (I'm pretty superstitious about numbers).
I keep listening to Sarah MacLachlan's song "Ordinary Miracle" and thinking how right that feels.
"It's not that unusual, when everything is beautiful, it's just another ordinary miracle...today.
The sky knows when it's time to snow, don't need to teach a seed to grow, it's just another ordinary miracle today.
Life is like a gift they say, wrapped up for you everyday. Open up and find a way to give some of your own.
Isn't it remarkable? Like every time a raindrop falls? It's just another ordinary miracle today.
Birds are meant to have their fling, they always make it all while spring, it's just another ordinary miracle today.
When you wake up every day, please don't throw yoru dreams away.
Hold them close to your heart. Because we are all a part
of the ordinary miracle...
Do you want to see a miracle?
It seems so exeptional that things just work out after all; it's just another ordinary miracle today.
The sun comes up and shines so bright, and disappears again at night.
It's just another ordinary miracle today."
I am so humbled by our son Matthew and the incredible blessing and gift that his remarkable, selfless birthparents gave to us in giving him life. May he always be protected and guided throughout his life, and may we be protected and guided as we navigate this incredible journey called parenthood.
I feel so blessed, my friends. So very, very, very blessed. Putting the magnitude of this feeling into words is simply impossible for me to do.
People keep telling Jeff and I how lucky Matthew is and how selfless we are. On the contrary, we feel like WE are the lucky ones. WE are the blessed ones. Matthew Seong-jin is a gift and a miracle, plain and simple. And we already love him beyond any description that warrants words. May God and the universe protect him and guide him to us safely in the coming months.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
No News Yet (But Getting Close!)
Hello, everyone. Wow, the last time I wrote was June 12. Sorry for the long gap. But no worries: Not much has happened, really. The biggest news to date is the fact that our dear friends Margaret and Tal got their referral a few weeks ago and are ready to welcome adorable little Michael to their family. Margaret tells me that they will be traveling to Korea sometime in the fall. They were supposed to make their big announcement at the parent support group meeting Tuesday night (and I was anxious to do a check-in, to see who, if anyone, might still be ahead of us), but it got cancelled b/c Catholic Charities was without power and phone, so they had to vacate. Oh, well. Next month!
Backing up: Margaret and Tal are close friends from our parent support group--and the only other couple in our playgroup who doesn't yet have their kids! So we tend to hang out with them a lot at playgroup, as neither couple has a kid to run after yet! They were the couple who we were kind of using as our "marker" or "landmark" or "milestone" (whatever you want to call it), because their paperwork was officially in Korea in March, just 3 months before ours was (our magic month is June). So, only a 3-month difference. I kept telling myself, all this time, "When Margaret and Tal get their referral, I know we'll be close...maybe even at the top of the list!" So their good news is OUR good news, too!
We are fairly certain that we are indeed "next," so keep those prayers and positive thoughts coming! We absolutely cannot wait to be matched with our little one and begin our life together. I think it's going to become so much more real once we get that referral and we have a photo to constantly look at (parents tell me that once you get that photo in your hand, you are looking at it a gazillion times a day and dreaming of the day when he will be in your arms) and background information on him. Right now, he's kind of "conceptual"--we know he's out there but we have no idea what he looks like, what region he comes from, etc. And I'm a visual person; I like to visualize, to have a person's face in my head. So I think, for me at least, our journey will become SO much more real once we learn who he is, what he looks like, his Korean name, etc. Then we can really start letting loose and not holding back our excitement. I do think that there is a level of "holding back" that is happening because we are afraid we'll jinx the journey, ya know?
My friend Debbie is getting ready to soon travel to Russia yet again (she already did the first trip and met her son Lucas at the orphanage), this time to stay for a longer time and to BRING HIM HOME! Not sure when it's going to happen but it's definitely going to be soon. She and I are taking an infant/adult CPR course this weekend at Holy Cross Hospital. It's a double-benefit for me, because with my yoga teaching, I really SHOULD be certified in CPR and can't believe I've waited this long to do it.
What else? Nothing really, that I can think of. Life is plodding along, ever busy, ever filled with activity. We were in NJ for the Fourth, visiting my brother. He lives in a lake community, so we watched fireworks on the lake shore there; it was the quinessential "small-town celebration" and was wonderful: Brought back good memories of growing up in my own small town in PA and going to the fireworks show at good ole Dunmore High (my alma mater).
We are heading to the beach next weekend, for a week, with my entire family (parents, siblings, spouses, and kids). We are staying in South Bethany (DE), in a large house that is literally spitting distance from the beach. We walk about 200 feet to the walkway that takes you to the beach! I can't wait to just chill out and spend some good quality time with my nieces Jessica, Anna, and Ava. Jessica is so excited; she keeps on saying "Aunt Kath, we're gonna be together for a WHOLE WEEK!" She's my little pal. We've started writing letters to each other back and forth via snail mail, so she can practice reading and writing her letters. She just loves getting letters that are addressed only to her...it's the cutest thing.
So, that's the latest update. Continue to check back on my blog regularly, because I really DO think this match is going to happen within the next two months or so!
Love and light to all...
Kathleen
Backing up: Margaret and Tal are close friends from our parent support group--and the only other couple in our playgroup who doesn't yet have their kids! So we tend to hang out with them a lot at playgroup, as neither couple has a kid to run after yet! They were the couple who we were kind of using as our "marker" or "landmark" or "milestone" (whatever you want to call it), because their paperwork was officially in Korea in March, just 3 months before ours was (our magic month is June). So, only a 3-month difference. I kept telling myself, all this time, "When Margaret and Tal get their referral, I know we'll be close...maybe even at the top of the list!" So their good news is OUR good news, too!
We are fairly certain that we are indeed "next," so keep those prayers and positive thoughts coming! We absolutely cannot wait to be matched with our little one and begin our life together. I think it's going to become so much more real once we get that referral and we have a photo to constantly look at (parents tell me that once you get that photo in your hand, you are looking at it a gazillion times a day and dreaming of the day when he will be in your arms) and background information on him. Right now, he's kind of "conceptual"--we know he's out there but we have no idea what he looks like, what region he comes from, etc. And I'm a visual person; I like to visualize, to have a person's face in my head. So I think, for me at least, our journey will become SO much more real once we learn who he is, what he looks like, his Korean name, etc. Then we can really start letting loose and not holding back our excitement. I do think that there is a level of "holding back" that is happening because we are afraid we'll jinx the journey, ya know?
My friend Debbie is getting ready to soon travel to Russia yet again (she already did the first trip and met her son Lucas at the orphanage), this time to stay for a longer time and to BRING HIM HOME! Not sure when it's going to happen but it's definitely going to be soon. She and I are taking an infant/adult CPR course this weekend at Holy Cross Hospital. It's a double-benefit for me, because with my yoga teaching, I really SHOULD be certified in CPR and can't believe I've waited this long to do it.
What else? Nothing really, that I can think of. Life is plodding along, ever busy, ever filled with activity. We were in NJ for the Fourth, visiting my brother. He lives in a lake community, so we watched fireworks on the lake shore there; it was the quinessential "small-town celebration" and was wonderful: Brought back good memories of growing up in my own small town in PA and going to the fireworks show at good ole Dunmore High (my alma mater).
We are heading to the beach next weekend, for a week, with my entire family (parents, siblings, spouses, and kids). We are staying in South Bethany (DE), in a large house that is literally spitting distance from the beach. We walk about 200 feet to the walkway that takes you to the beach! I can't wait to just chill out and spend some good quality time with my nieces Jessica, Anna, and Ava. Jessica is so excited; she keeps on saying "Aunt Kath, we're gonna be together for a WHOLE WEEK!" She's my little pal. We've started writing letters to each other back and forth via snail mail, so she can practice reading and writing her letters. She just loves getting letters that are addressed only to her...it's the cutest thing.
So, that's the latest update. Continue to check back on my blog regularly, because I really DO think this match is going to happen within the next two months or so!
Love and light to all...
Kathleen
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wonderful Connections
Hi, everyone. It's Friday, and it's NOT raining! It's not exactly super sunny out either, but I can't tell you how good it feels to see dry roads and not be ducking in and out of pouring-down rain! Plus, it helps the mood, too, ya know?
I recently joined the Adoptive Families Facebook group, and I am already making some fabulous new friends from posting and reading other people's postings. Shouting out to my new friend Angie in CA--she and her hubby are waiting parents in the domestic adoption program. I'm very excited for them both, and I just KNOW that they will be selected by a birthmother very soon and baby will come shortly thereafter. I will keep you both in my thoughts/prayers. Angie and I are looking forward to comparing notes on domestic vs. international adoption (it'll be interesting to see both perspectives!) and supporting each other as we continue on this fascinating, exciting, mysterious journey toward parenthood!
I'm so thankful for the connections I'm making. It's great to have friends to support you, but it's even better to have friends who are experiencing pretty much the same exact thing you are. Thanks to Adoptive Families for joining Facebook and making it all that much easier for us waiting parents to connect with each other.
Sending positive energy out to all my peeps who are fellow "waiters"! The weight of the wait (get it?) somehow feels lessened already!
We're heading to PA tomorrow morning for Elena's christening. Very excited and honored that my best friend Mara and her husband Ron selected me as the godmother of their third child, Elena Anne. And boy is she one cute bambino. And of course while we are at my parents' house, it goes without saying that we'll get some good visiting time in with my family, and most especially my nieces. Life is good, God/the universe has blessed us, and I feel so very grateful for it all.
Talk to you all soon,
Kathleen
I recently joined the Adoptive Families Facebook group, and I am already making some fabulous new friends from posting and reading other people's postings. Shouting out to my new friend Angie in CA--she and her hubby are waiting parents in the domestic adoption program. I'm very excited for them both, and I just KNOW that they will be selected by a birthmother very soon and baby will come shortly thereafter. I will keep you both in my thoughts/prayers. Angie and I are looking forward to comparing notes on domestic vs. international adoption (it'll be interesting to see both perspectives!) and supporting each other as we continue on this fascinating, exciting, mysterious journey toward parenthood!
I'm so thankful for the connections I'm making. It's great to have friends to support you, but it's even better to have friends who are experiencing pretty much the same exact thing you are. Thanks to Adoptive Families for joining Facebook and making it all that much easier for us waiting parents to connect with each other.
Sending positive energy out to all my peeps who are fellow "waiters"! The weight of the wait (get it?) somehow feels lessened already!
We're heading to PA tomorrow morning for Elena's christening. Very excited and honored that my best friend Mara and her husband Ron selected me as the godmother of their third child, Elena Anne. And boy is she one cute bambino. And of course while we are at my parents' house, it goes without saying that we'll get some good visiting time in with my family, and most especially my nieces. Life is good, God/the universe has blessed us, and I feel so very grateful for it all.
Talk to you all soon,
Kathleen
Thursday, June 11, 2009
My Friend's Trip to Russia
My friend Debbie just got back from her trip to Russia to visit her son. With Russia, you go there to accept the referral, then go home, and then you come back a few months later to pick up your child and go home for good. Long story why this is (too long to detail here).
Anyway, she and I had dinner, and the photos of him are ADORABLE. It was fascinating to hear about her experience in Russia, and the story of her long journey to get there, knowing that she had to turn around and go home without him (this time). But she has a great attitude...she just can't wait to get him home! The children's home where he lives is actually really decent looking...very clean, lots of colorful toys, a loving staff and caretakers, etc. It was good to see the kids getting such good care. They take them outside to play and everything. Definitely notches up my opinion of orphanages in general...this isn't too shabby. He looks like he's well taken care of.
It was neat to hear her referring to him as "my son this" and "my son that." Someday soon that will be us! I hope!
I recently joined Adoptive Families' Facebook page (Adoptive Families is a bimonthly magazine that we subscribe to). It's been neat chatting with fellow waiting moms. Plus I've also found some adoptive moms on a few local listserves (DC Urban Moms and DC Working Moms).
Anyway, the wait continues, but not without staying busy, that's for sure.
Even as I continue to practice yoga, I also continue to practice PATIENCE! Ha ha! Here's to that.
Kathleen
Anyway, she and I had dinner, and the photos of him are ADORABLE. It was fascinating to hear about her experience in Russia, and the story of her long journey to get there, knowing that she had to turn around and go home without him (this time). But she has a great attitude...she just can't wait to get him home! The children's home where he lives is actually really decent looking...very clean, lots of colorful toys, a loving staff and caretakers, etc. It was good to see the kids getting such good care. They take them outside to play and everything. Definitely notches up my opinion of orphanages in general...this isn't too shabby. He looks like he's well taken care of.
It was neat to hear her referring to him as "my son this" and "my son that." Someday soon that will be us! I hope!
I recently joined Adoptive Families' Facebook page (Adoptive Families is a bimonthly magazine that we subscribe to). It's been neat chatting with fellow waiting moms. Plus I've also found some adoptive moms on a few local listserves (DC Urban Moms and DC Working Moms).
Anyway, the wait continues, but not without staying busy, that's for sure.
Even as I continue to practice yoga, I also continue to practice PATIENCE! Ha ha! Here's to that.
Kathleen
Friday, June 5, 2009
Sometimes I get so tired...
...of people telling me all the negative things about parenting. Diapers, poop, sleepless nights, a life no longer your own...and the list goes on.
(sigh) What I wouldn't give for ONE poopy diaper, ONE sleepless night. I'll take the bad with the good. Just bring our kid home already!
I know people don't mean it, but it still hurts when I hear people whining and warning me about aspects of parenting that, quite frankly, I would give the world to have.
And I really, REALLY wish it would stop raining. It's making me sad and grumpy!
It's supposed to be nice tomorrow (at least here in MD). Jeff and I are going to this DanceAfrica DC festival, where he and his drumming class will be performing onstage at 12:30. It's in Northeast DC and should be fun; I went last year. Their group is really good!
(sigh) What I wouldn't give for ONE poopy diaper, ONE sleepless night. I'll take the bad with the good. Just bring our kid home already!
I know people don't mean it, but it still hurts when I hear people whining and warning me about aspects of parenting that, quite frankly, I would give the world to have.
And I really, REALLY wish it would stop raining. It's making me sad and grumpy!
It's supposed to be nice tomorrow (at least here in MD). Jeff and I are going to this DanceAfrica DC festival, where he and his drumming class will be performing onstage at 12:30. It's in Northeast DC and should be fun; I went last year. Their group is really good!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Manhattan Moon: Thoughts About Our Child's Birth Mother
I was listening to one of my favorite alt-folk artists, Lucy Kaplansky (album "Over the Hills") today in the car, and this song came on. I realized it was about her daughter's birth mother (Lucy and her husband adopted a daughter from China a few years ago). I had completely forgotten that this singer/songwriter was an adoptive parent, and it was probably no accident at all that I selected this CD to play on my way to work today. I want to talk about it.
The song is called "Manhattan Moon," and I'm including the lyrics below. Even though we don't yet know who our child is, I just want to say "thank you" to our child's birth mom, whoever she is, wherever she may be in Korea. I think of her all the time: What does she look like? What are her circumstances? What must it have been like, giving birth only to say good-bye? I think what a strong person she must be, and how hard this decision must have been for her.
I'm also thinking about our child all the time. I'm not sure how old our child is, our even if he/she is born yet (although I'm pretty sure that's already happened), but one thing I am sure of is this: We will never let our child forget the special act of love it took for her to do what she did. Here's what I'd say to her, I think:
Because of you, and your incredible, selfless love, a family is about to be created, half a world away. And Jeff and my dreams are about to come true. All because of you. We will never let our child forget who you are or what you did...all out of incredible love for him/her. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A thousand times. I can never say it enough.
There are so many stigmas and unrealistic visions of what/who a birthmother is. I hope more people will see birthmothers as giving, loving women who are making an incredibly painful, but incredibly loving, decision to make an adoption plan for their children. They are loving beings and deserve to be recognized as such.
"Manhattan Moon"
You say you want to see the moon
Outside of our living room
Over the Manhattan sky
Like we saw last night
You don't understand where she's gone
When the morning comes
And I promise you she'll be back tonight
We'll find her and we'll say goodnight
So you look for her in the books we read
In a shadow's curve you show her to me
Then the sun goes down and she's there again
Brighter now, your brand new friend
And for me the skyline's changed
Same old buildings rearranged
The sky's a richer shade of blue
And the moon's my new friend too
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
The moon shines on our half of the sky
And on the half you left behind
When it's nighttime here it's morning there
But the moon's the same everywhere
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
While I'm singing you a lullaby
Someone's waking up on the other side
The moon's shining on her too
She'll see it and she'll think of you
You hear music in everything
The rain's a drum, the traffic sings
I listen too and I dance along
We keep on dancing when the music's gone
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
The song is called "Manhattan Moon," and I'm including the lyrics below. Even though we don't yet know who our child is, I just want to say "thank you" to our child's birth mom, whoever she is, wherever she may be in Korea. I think of her all the time: What does she look like? What are her circumstances? What must it have been like, giving birth only to say good-bye? I think what a strong person she must be, and how hard this decision must have been for her.
I'm also thinking about our child all the time. I'm not sure how old our child is, our even if he/she is born yet (although I'm pretty sure that's already happened), but one thing I am sure of is this: We will never let our child forget the special act of love it took for her to do what she did. Here's what I'd say to her, I think:
Because of you, and your incredible, selfless love, a family is about to be created, half a world away. And Jeff and my dreams are about to come true. All because of you. We will never let our child forget who you are or what you did...all out of incredible love for him/her. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A thousand times. I can never say it enough.
There are so many stigmas and unrealistic visions of what/who a birthmother is. I hope more people will see birthmothers as giving, loving women who are making an incredibly painful, but incredibly loving, decision to make an adoption plan for their children. They are loving beings and deserve to be recognized as such.
"Manhattan Moon"
You say you want to see the moon
Outside of our living room
Over the Manhattan sky
Like we saw last night
You don't understand where she's gone
When the morning comes
And I promise you she'll be back tonight
We'll find her and we'll say goodnight
So you look for her in the books we read
In a shadow's curve you show her to me
Then the sun goes down and she's there again
Brighter now, your brand new friend
And for me the skyline's changed
Same old buildings rearranged
The sky's a richer shade of blue
And the moon's my new friend too
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
The moon shines on our half of the sky
And on the half you left behind
When it's nighttime here it's morning there
But the moon's the same everywhere
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
While I'm singing you a lullaby
Someone's waking up on the other side
The moon's shining on her too
She'll see it and she'll think of you
You hear music in everything
The rain's a drum, the traffic sings
I listen too and I dance along
We keep on dancing when the music's gone
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)