I was listening to one of my favorite alt-folk artists, Lucy Kaplansky (album "Over the Hills") today in the car, and this song came on. I realized it was about her daughter's birth mother (Lucy and her husband adopted a daughter from China a few years ago). I had completely forgotten that this singer/songwriter was an adoptive parent, and it was probably no accident at all that I selected this CD to play on my way to work today. I want to talk about it.
The song is called "Manhattan Moon," and I'm including the lyrics below. Even though we don't yet know who our child is, I just want to say "thank you" to our child's birth mom, whoever she is, wherever she may be in Korea. I think of her all the time: What does she look like? What are her circumstances? What must it have been like, giving birth only to say good-bye? I think what a strong person she must be, and how hard this decision must have been for her.
I'm also thinking about our child all the time. I'm not sure how old our child is, our even if he/she is born yet (although I'm pretty sure that's already happened), but one thing I am sure of is this: We will never let our child forget the special act of love it took for her to do what she did. Here's what I'd say to her, I think:
Because of you, and your incredible, selfless love, a family is about to be created, half a world away. And Jeff and my dreams are about to come true. All because of you. We will never let our child forget who you are or what you did...all out of incredible love for him/her. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A thousand times. I can never say it enough.
There are so many stigmas and unrealistic visions of what/who a birthmother is. I hope more people will see birthmothers as giving, loving women who are making an incredibly painful, but incredibly loving, decision to make an adoption plan for their children. They are loving beings and deserve to be recognized as such.
"Manhattan Moon"
You say you want to see the moon
Outside of our living room
Over the Manhattan sky
Like we saw last night
You don't understand where she's gone
When the morning comes
And I promise you she'll be back tonight
We'll find her and we'll say goodnight
So you look for her in the books we read
In a shadow's curve you show her to me
Then the sun goes down and she's there again
Brighter now, your brand new friend
And for me the skyline's changed
Same old buildings rearranged
The sky's a richer shade of blue
And the moon's my new friend too
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
The moon shines on our half of the sky
And on the half you left behind
When it's nighttime here it's morning there
But the moon's the same everywhere
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
While I'm singing you a lullaby
Someone's waking up on the other side
The moon's shining on her too
She'll see it and she'll think of you
You hear music in everything
The rain's a drum, the traffic sings
I listen too and I dance along
We keep on dancing when the music's gone
I used to travel in a straight line
Now I'm walking on a road that winds
You take my hand we take our time
Oh, we take our time
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