Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Big Old "But's"...Living in Limbo...the Land of "And"

Another cool image of Seoul, this one at night. What an amazing-looking city!

Oh, this post is all over the place. Yes, another one. Sorry, folks. And even the title of my post: Man, it was hard to name it. So I named it three things!

Let's call today's blog posting "fun with language," shall we? Puns and wordplay abound in this attempt to bring myself up out of the mire (looking out the window doesn't help: It's pouring down rain!).

First, a story...

Last night, the phone rang at 7:00. It was a 443 extension (Waldorf, MD).
Jeff and I were sitting in the living room, reading.
We usually screen, but Waldorf is close enough to Baltimore, and I thought maybe a social worker was calling us from his/her home.
We decided we'd better pick up.
(At this point, I am even picking up on those 800 numbers that are so clearly telemarketers! Argggh!)
As Jeff reached for the phone, I put my book down and tried to calm my heart,
which was absolutely positively ready to jump out of my chest.
(I can see now what Edgar Allen Poe's character went through in The Telltale Heart. What's it going to be like when we really do get that call?)

"Hello?" asked Jeff.
"Yes, hello, is Israel there?" the stranger on the other end said.
"Sorry, wrong number," Jeff replied.

{insert exhale here}

And now, a somewhat bumpy transition to my random musings...

{My English professors at Blooomsburg U would have been less than impressed with this abrupt literary transition!}

I am bound and determined to remain positive.
Helping to move the energy of the universe ever closer to bringing him home.
There can be no room for negative thinking.
Sweep away the negative thoughts.
In with the positive.

Still...I will say this (note my intentional use of the word "and"):
Positivity is a great thing.
AND it's really hard, this living in limbo stuff.

Call this post what you will:
An exercise in the power of positive thinking?
A head game for l'il old adoptive mama me? (Mamma Mia!)
An exercise in futility?
Can positive thoughts really cause the universe to shift?
I believe that they can.

Regardless of what you call it,
I think you get what I'm trying to do here.
Psych myself up. And out?
Pull myself up by the 'pits and INSIST that
I not let this delay get me down.

{Oh, I so want to go to that place of "but I thought he was going to be home by now!" I might even add a "dammit" or two. The song "I'll be home for Christmas" brings on a whole new meaning, and WILL cause the tears to flow when I hear it for the first time this season...}

So, this first week of December,
I hereby reject the pull that I am feeling toward all the big old "but's" that are coming up for me (pun oh-so-intended).
Rather, I choose to remain rooted in the land of "and."
It's a much nicer place to be, don't you think?

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