Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Motherhood in a Coconut Shell

Is it really August? How did that happen? I haven't written much this summer.

So, before I turn in for the evening, here's a random spouting of what's been going on with me lately. Here it is, in some form of nutshell. But I'm not very good at nutshells, so I can't promise you that this is TRULY going to be a nutshell. Probably more like a coconut shell.
  • Lately, my dear friend Catherine and I have been talking about all sorts of motherhood-related issues. Deconstructing it. Figuring it out. Going inward and sharing outward. Catherine is my friend who I met after I read an article that she wrote in Adoptive Families magazine. I loved it so much, I contacted her; visited her then-blog, now website (called Mama C and the Boys; check out the transracial adoption workshop she is hosting this October in Portland, Maine); and we eventually became cyberfriends. We hope to meet someday, but for now, the Internet is our touchstone. We talk about everything adoption and motherhood and writing and blogging, and she is a true sister to me in so many ways. Our friendship is proof that there are as many boons as there are downfalls to Internet technology and social media sites. We've been talking to each other via email and Facebook and comments on each other's blogs about how we're constantly doing this (deconstructing motherhood, that is). Sometimes, I think I'm engaging in needless self-criticism and overanalytical behavior, but most times, I feel that all this deconstruction and glancing inward is a very, very good thing. It makes me a better mother. It gives me an outlet. It reminds me that I am not alone in my feelings about motherhood (as in, "I don't know what the h I'm doing half the time!"), my joys, my challenges. So many women are with me on this crazy ride.
  • Jeff is away in Florida for 3 weeks. Yup, he's flying into hurricanes again. Literally. We are staying put in MD, visiting friends and family, setting up playdates, and having a grand old time. Me and the two "boys" (Matthew and the dog). While NASA and NOAA and the GRIP project gobble up my husband's time for the next several weeks, I am flyin' solo. With the help of dear sweet Caitlin (our teenage babysitter), the angel from around the corner. She is also from South Korea, and I'm happy for that connection between her and Matthew.
  • Matthew is finally walking! He is so adorable taking those steps. I could just cry, he looks so cute. Or laugh. Or both. Look out world, here he comes! Time to kidproof the house...AGAIN. This time we're putting things even higher up, if not completely away, for a few years.
Yeah, a nutshell...um, right.

I think I've definitely outgrown that nutshell. Actually, who am I kidding? I've NEVER, EVER fit my musings into a nutshell. I favor the more expansive space of the coconut shell. It suits me much better.

Signing off for now. I am planning my next post around the theme of "button-pushing." Take your best guess at what I'll be talking about (if you're a mom or a dad, you already know).


amberdanish said...

I saw your comment to the Time Magazine article about only children and wanted to touch base with you. My husband and I recently adopted our son and are struggling over the decision to keep trying/adopt another. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts/comments on the subject, especially since you are in a similar situation to us.

Kathleen said...

Amber: I'd love to chat with you. My email is khalverson@asha.org. Please email me and we can start talking offline! Sounds like we have a lot in common and much to chat about! Anxious to talk but not sure how to get in touch outside of this method, for now!

Best, Kathleen